Mercoledì Nessun Parole Numero Tre

The First Day of Our 17th Year

(editor's note: Settle in, this one's a doozy.)

Dear Boo,

Before I go any further I would just like to point out that when we jokingly made up pet names, mine for you went on to sweep the hip hop world. Because despite the fact that I'm a goober, I can totally start trends. Decorated vests for women? That was me, too. Sorry about that.

Ummm... where was I? Oh yes. Today we celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary. Pretty weird, huh? Time is a strange and complicated thing. On the one hand, it seems like just yesterday. (What? I'm not still 19? This can not be!) On the other, it seems a lifetime ago. (Good grief, I feel like I'm a hundred.) But in a good way. We started out young, you cradle robber, you. Fortunately, we grew up together and not apart. Ours is a "Princess Bride" sort of romance - heavy on the humorous banter and dry wit. Flowers and cards have never much been your style. Instead, luckily for me, you have a talent for giving the fabulously unexpected. If our audience will indulge me, I will submit a few examples.

I admit, I can't remember if this and this were for our first Christmas or my birthday. I do remember that I cried, because these were pictures I took in Germany in 1987 and you knew how much the memory of that trip meant to me. We were completely broke that year and I wasn't expecting much. Major points, babe.

With Christmas 1991 came one of my favorite gifts of all time. I miss him.

Thank you for taking this out one day to get it washed, and coming back with this. Wow. WOW. Seriously.

Thanks for coming here with me. I very much enjoyed showing you this and this and this (despite your seeming complaints of "basilica butt" and the overabundance of the depiction of Mary and The Christ Child). To be able to share a place that I love so much with you was a gift in and of itself.

The best was a gift we gave each other. This one showed up a little early. And, boy, is it the gift that keeps on growing and growing and Holy Adolescence, Batman, growing. Even though I can't remember you changing one diaper ::AHEM::, thank you for being a great Dad.

Thank you for putting up with my bad traits and (mostly - heh) appreciating my good ones. And for your patience when I freak out a little about life's R.O.U.S's. (Really, people, it's just a little - in general I'm pretty low maintenance. Right, hon? RIGHT?) Thank you for all the hard work you've put into our house. And for putting the toilet seat AND lid down, right from the beginning. Let's work on the beard hairs all over the bathroom sink, though, shall we? Thank you for cooking me some fab meals. I miss you doing the grocery shopping, though. I hate going to the grocery store. ::SAP ALERT:: To sum up, (and to wrap up, so as to not bore the masses) thanks for being the sort of husband I need to traverse the Fire Swamp. You're too good to me.

Love yer body, Larry.

Google Referred - AT LAST!

WOOHOO!! I'm disproportionately excited that I have finally had a Goggle Referral! AND... I'm the second site listed! I made a top ten! How many more exclamation points can I use before it becomes annoying?!? Oh. Too late.

Check me out, peeps:



p.s. I know the picture is hard to read, but any bigger and it drops my sidebar. You can better believe that now that I've (sorta) figured out how to change my background, my next goal is to figure out how to make the main area bigger.

Dear Old Golden Rule Daze

It's that time of the year again. The time of year when I begin to dread the coming of the morn. I trudge to bed in the knowledge that with the dawn comes much gnashing of teeth. Threats. Shouting. Recriminations. Crying (mostly mine).

I birthed a night owl which means that my nights are framed by the struggle to get The Girl to GO TO BED, ALREADY and then GET UP, ALREADY. Yesterday was the first day of school and she amazed us by getting up rAHEally early. This resulted in a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. You can see where this is going? Yup. Up late last night. As I was already resigned to the fact that she would get out of bed a thousand times for various reasons (mostly to torment me and whiiiiiine), I relented and we vegged in my room and bonded over a couple episodes of Invader Zim. This morning could have been worse. It could have been better, but it could have been worse. I didn't have to poke the snarling, bad-tempered little tiger with a stick. But don't think I won't if it comes right down to it. Because I have, and I'm not afraid to do it again.

Personality Test Monday #3 - You Know You Love It.

You know the drill: take the test, put your results in the comments. Cuz it's all about you. Uh. Yeah.
I must say this one is pretty spot on for me. I totally talk to myself when I'm upset. And music? Must have it.

You Communicate With Your Ears

You love conversations, both as a listener and a talker. What people say is important to you, and you're often most affected by words, not actions. You love to hear complements from others. And when you're upset, you often talk to yourself. Music is very important to you. It's difficult to find you without your iPod.

How Do You Communicate?

Photobooth Friday #8 - The Ocho!

click on pic to see larger size

We're a little more feminine this week, my darlings. A beauty from St. Louie. I think my favorite is the first photo - I adore that jacket and hat!

Photobooth Peeps:
LeSophie
hula seventy
my kid

The Why of "Velvet Vox"

Katherine (btw, I'm realizing that all the people on my 'roll are, like, attractive) asked me earlier how I came up with the name of my blawg. Firstly, to clarify - the only place I sing is in my car. What I am good at is speaking. I'd always wanted to be an actor, but life happens and I was inside sales/customer service for a wholesale building supply company for 16 years. I honed my phone voice into a velvety customer service machine. Actually, I was mistaken for a machine at least once a day. It usually went like this:

Me: Thank you for calling @#$%& Building Products. How may I help...BEEPBEEPBEEP

Me: Uh. Hellooooo?

Them: What? Hello? Oh. Sorry. I thought you were an automated voice!

So, I used my feminine wiles and velvet vox to sell plywood and particleboard and lumber to sweaty guys who probably needed to shave. They ate it up. They all cried when I left. And my office closed. Before I left, our LA office asked me to do the messages on their automated system, so my old customer still get to hear me say the magic words: "Thank you for calling @#$%& Building Products." I am a legend. LOL

Long story short: Thought I might be able to make money with my speaking voice. Took a couple classes. Years passed. Finally did a demo. Quit my job. (Between 45 mile round trip commute in some of the areas worst traffic and losing the ability to deal with irritating people - I was one angry, unhappy girl.) Now, theoretically, I'm supposed to be pursuing a career in voice-over. At some point I decided that "Velvet Vox" was a nice little tagline/marketing gimmick.

You can hear the one audio post I've done so far here, if you haven't already. And as soon as I can remember my logon for the site I used to host it, I'll upload a track from my actual demo.

The end.

A Brief Photo Intermission

First, I would just like to say, completely apropos of nothing except that it happened the instant I started this post, a Model-T just drove down our (very quiet, hidden) street and it had a For Sale sign on it. I waaaant it. ::sniff::

Anywho, to tide j'all over until I post actual words, I present to you My Spawn. I call this one "All Up In Her Grill". What? Oh please. No frontin' - you know when you were a kid you took foil and made a "grill". Us middle class bored kids totally did it waaaaay before them rappahs. ::ahem::



p.s. Don't let that adorable "aren't I so cute?" smile fool you. (I say that for her benefit - to protect her street cred.)

Wordless Wednesday #2

Personality Test Monday #2

I'm such a dope. I completely forgot that it is Personality Test Monday!

Ready for it? Here we go.....Don't forget - take the test, post your results in the comments!

You Are Best Described By...

Eye By M.C. Escher

What Famous Work of Art Are You?

Photobooth Friday #7 - at last!

(click on pic to see a larger version)

I have several strips of this sort, thanks to my obsessive haunting of eBay for vintage photos. I should have posted this in July, since on the back is written: July 1918. That would explain the flag. I like the pose with that new fangled contraption, the telephone. Her hairbows and what I'll bet is a gorgeous white lace dress bring to mind Anne of Green Gables and The Secret Garden. Just think, a couple of years after these oh-so innocent pictures, this girl probably bobbed her hair, rolled down her stockings and was doing the Charleston on top of tables while trying not to spill her martini. My, but they do grow up fast.

Go check out these Photobooth Friday goddesses (and stay to read their lovely blawgs):
hulaseventy
LeSophie

Wordless Wednesday

Tagged!

I have been tagged for a Book Meme by Archshrk. This I can handle, it being about books and all. (And, yeah, I'm lame and didn't go back to that Thursday Thirteen to put in all those other links.)(Totally unnecessary aside: I was going to just post pictures of the book covers, but apparently Blogger ::coughFREEcough:: has limits. So, links it is! Links that will, btw, open a new window, thus allowing you to peruse whilst still reading.)I would like to preface this by saying that it pains me physically to have to choose one for most of the categories. Hello, bookfreak!



1. One book that changed your life:
A Toad for Tuesday by Russell E. Erickson
I know, yer all "Wha?" Explanation: The year, 1977. The book, the first I ever owned. It. was. MINE. My memory is of getting to read one chapter a day. Oh the delicious anticipation. Plus, it is a story about anticipation, of a scary sort. This book was the start of my addiction. Sure I have a library card. But it's not quite the same.

2. One book you've read more than once:
Ok, I'm copping out a little on this one - every book on this list, with the exception of #7.

3. One book you'd want on a deserted island:
The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
Yeah, yeah, it's several books. It's my meme and I'll cheat if I want to. (Everybody, sing it with me!) I just have to say, I can't wait to meet this man.

4. One book that made you laugh:
The Last Hero by Terry Pratchett.
What? You made me pick one.

5. One book that made you cry:
The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Neffenegger
I'm pretty sure I cried harder the second time I read this, because I knew what was coming.

6. One book that you wish had been written:
A book with specifically detailed instructions on how to perfectly parent a tween/teen. With a guarantee to pay for therapy for the parents and child involved if it doesn't work.

7. One book that you wish had never been written:
Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller
List this under "books you wish you'd never bought". I like to read classics. Henry Miller - he's supposed to be some Iconic American Writer, right? I could not finish it. What a complete load of...er...codswallop. Synonyms of the word "loathe" would describe my feelings in regard to this book. (I'm not a big fan of Ernest Hemingway, either. Surprise, surprise.)

8. One book you're currently reading:
Dragonsong by Anne McCaffrey
Doing my Thursday Thirteen the other day brought this series to mind, so I decided to revisit. A little sci-fi/fantasy reading to help with the ignoring of real life. I wanna dragon I can mindspeak. A tiny one will do. ::pout::

9. One book you've been meaning to read:
The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri
No, really. I even bought it. Does this make up for my bourgeois dislike of Henry Miller?

I'm supposed to tag five people, but I only know of one who probably won't want to brain me with her keyboard, so get to it Bobealia. And if any of you want to do it, please let me know and I'll add a link to your post on this post!

Personality Test Monday #1

I'm stoked. I have found an excellent way to shirk my posting duties. Sort of. Plus I love doing these little personality tests. Don't you? Of course you do. Don't lie.

You Are Austin

A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll. You're totally weird and very proud of it. Artistic and freaky, you still seem to fit in... in your own strange way. Famous Austin residents: Lance Armstrong, Sandra Bullock, Andy Roddick

What American City Are You?

See? Proof that I am odd. Although I prefer "quirky", thank you very much. Austin, huh? Who woulda thunk it?

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Take the test and let me know the results! (Holy meat by-products - a way to post AND get comments. I. am. devious.)

p.s. My spawn has a blog, too and she's been haranguing me to mention it. What happened to the sweet-natured, blond curly-haired baby I used to rock to sleep? This: Hey Look It's a Girl Playing Baseball

Tonsillectomygate '06

First, I would like to lodge a formal complaint. I thought that you weren't supposed to be able to talk after getting your tonsils ripped out by the roots? Turns out that this is a hope-raising LIE. And Tylenol with Codeine? Not an attitude adjuster, also as hoped. I'm just sayin'.

Ok, so all went well. Thanks to the wonders of modern medicine, the actual procedure took about 20 minutes. She was out of recovery in about 2 hours. A big change from yesteryear when you stayed in hospital at least overnight. (Not that I know, personally. I still have mine. Makes me feel kinda special.) Everyone at Children's Hospital was great, except some dumb broad in billing. I soon had her straightened out. The anesthesia made The Girl nauseous most of the first day, but that passed. Yesterday and today she's been talking less, but still ornery. She thinks that I'm pushing her to drink more liquids only as a part of my diabolical plan to drive her insane. I can't seem to convince her that I've put that plan on hold for now and that her insistence on continuing the Tween Crappy Attitude and Refusal To Co-operate Just Because is making me slightly frantic with the aforementioned pushing of the aforementioned liquids.

That's the fascinating update. I'm going to take advantage of the blissfully overcast, cool weather here (70 degrees, people. In August. It is, indeed, a miracle.) and do something creative. After shoveling off the kay-rap that is covering my work area. Meh.

Now to go and push liquids. You know, because I am mean and cruel and moronic. Like all mothers of tweens.